Give up and let go

Recently had these few interesting conversation with some few friends talking about giving up. Which come to my surprise that they do think I am the guy who never give up, like there the word "give up" never exist in my dictionary.

To look back what I have achieve for the past few years indeed quite surprising. Something I won't expect myself 8 years ago (2004 is where I define as the start of exciting years ^^). True enough, 8 years ago I told myself I will never again regret of my actions and gonna make my life as interesting as possible. The sprit of never give up have been the cornerstone that pushing me to the limits in the journey making my life interesting.

Of course, bring a normal human being does means that I won't always get the result that I want. That is why I will give up. My colleague whom I have worked together for years disagree that. She told me that I am indeed the will never give up kind of person. What I did is just let go for the sake of a better choice. Both are pretty much the same but the intention are different (as she says). With give up is pretty negative kind (really not gonna pursuit further) and let go is positive kind (let go with a good cause). I do agree of what she said and admit that the "give up" that I did was actually "let go" due to the fact I will try anything that I can before let go.

Of course, I do enjoy this journey but I also realize something. Being successful in what you doing does give you the fame, but at the same time creates a gap of you and other people. This is where people around you start elevate you as "God" and dare not get too close as their respect in you stop them doing so.

It does feel very good at the beginning, but along the time I start having the loneliness in me. The feeling of being alienated grew over the years and I start to reject the idea me being a very different person. I tried to start challenging people to do the same but in real life each people have their limitation (by mind) in doing things.

I start to realize that I am slowly giving up my dreams due to afraid of the loneliness. For being wandering around places for many years does "stock up" that loneliness until the level that I don't really think I can handle too much. I start to going back home late because there is nothing to looking forward when I get back home. This is where I start hang out with friends after work and try to get myself occupied as much as I can. Again, after a certain period I realize that is not a sustainable solution and I do feel back to square one again.

At the moment I will still walk down this path as there aren't much choice along this path which I really not sure how long I will be able to continue. I guess is going to be a "well see" situation then.

P/S: this is just a rambling post and surely I not looking for salvation nor pity. Just to post out what I have been kept in my heart and serve as an entertaining post for the future me. But I do hope the readers do able to leave some comments so that I will know that people DO still read this blog.

Signed,
gen_tiger

Restart of blogging

Is been almost 4 years since I posted something in this blog. Come to think about it time really flies. Alot of things have changed over the past 4 years. I guess no one will ever read this blog again. So I am going to jot down some significant event over the past 4 years as a reminder to myself what that I actually went thru for the past 4 years (in sequence)

1. Officially become one of the workforce in this country
2. Getting used to my new life in KL, learn how to speak Cantonese and also have the pleasure to know alot of people
3. Return to single and available (Freedom!!)
4. The no-way-i-will-never-forget 7 weeks experience in Hong Kong
5. Got my dad's old car to drive in KL
6. Live without a goal for over a year
7. Tendered my first ever resignation letter
8. Jump ship to a (almost) new enviorment
9. Seriously almost unbelievable London trip for 3 weeks
10. Starting to seriously plan for my finance
11. Restart of organize events 

Many thanks to all the people that I have met along the journey as you guys have contribute of what I am and what I have now. The past 4 years have been super duper exciting and indeed I am enjoying every single minute. 

I will save something in the next post, till then.. 

~L~

Wedding Dinner

*Currently waiting team member to finish deploying the system that we have be develop for the past 3 months n there is nothing i can do but to wait they all finish their work =.=

If u follow my post previously, i went back to my hometown last Thursday to attend my secondary friend's wedding dinner. During that night i met a lot of my friends that i didn't meet them at all since we all graduate from tebrau (my secondary school name). Too bad that some of them can't make it (1 from F.U.T, 2 from M8). Is feels good to meet them again after so many years and is good to hear some of them is doing quite good after graduate from tebrau.

Picture taken during the dinner with the people that same table with me (mostly are my juniors from PBSM)

Next up... AFA trip :D

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Now playing: May'n - Diamond Crevasse

Ichiraku Curry Mee

Yesterday I went to my usual place for lunch and ordered a bowl of curry mee,


Notice something familiar? Let us zoom in n c


Yes, is the Konoha mark!!!

So i guess the next special in Ichiraku ramen will be curry mee XD

7bil Bill

http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2008/11/5/nation/2459309&sec=nation

Finally new measure to simulate the economy, but i don't see there is any direct impact on me =.=

I just got a feeling this 7bil will ended up 3.5bil in actual (with the other 3.5bil will end up to the pocket of a certain quarter of people)

*p/s : Obama for America!!! and please bring back the peace to the world. (and i hope u can be the head to simulate the world's economy since i know that there is no 1 in this country able to do so *bunch of u*****s guys)

Broke...

Yes, i am almost broke this month =.= due to the fact:-

1. Ganas Makan
2. Ganas Outing
3. Ganas Buying Stuffs (I still left around 3 things in my buying list ^^)

And next month expected to be more ganas as i goin back to JB and also the AFA08 trip =.=

I really must control my spending........

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Now playing: Nakajima Ai - What 'bout My Star @Formo

Toyota Prius

http://blog.wired.com/cars/2008/10/the-new-prius-l.html

The 2010 Prius!!!! I wonder when they will start selling in M'sia. >_<

/me prays will import before the stupid gov increase back the import tax for Hybrid Car again

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Now playing:Sheryl Nome starring May'n - Yousei

Weekends ~~~~

Is Saturday, YAY!!!!!

After start working i do feel that weekends and holidays are very important. I am lucky that i no need to work on Saturday (except rushing for dateline) so that i do have a extra full day of weekend and also i can wake up whatever time that i want ^^ (in condition that my owner's kids doesn't make much noise to wake me up =.=)

The project (KPI project again, almost the same when i training in FFSCAP) i currently work on starting to get more and more challenging. As we working on we found there are a lot of matters that we need to solve before we move on, thus resulting we are abit behind from the schedule.

One thing in work i could joy is finally i no need to handle the communication between the director and also the team. The new Senior Developer will handle this matters, thus my tasks now are system development (Development + Design), system support and communicate with the product manager in Europe (which i want to dump the last 2 tasks to other people also =.=)

Dateline is on end of Nov (Include QA, deployment n etc), i guess we will have to work late starting next week =.=

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Now playing: Sheryl Nome starring May'n - Diamond Crevasse

March Exit

Our dear PM FINALLY announce he is goin to pass the post to someone else in next March. Personally i don't think he can do much n his mission before stepping down it seems not really important with the current country situation where country economic suppose to be the top priority matters. I still want my daily lunch below RM5 and have a higher salary......

Quote of the day:

"Stupid! It's economics!" Bill Clinton(1992)

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Now playing: Sheryl Nome starring May'n - Northern Cross

Wedding Dinner + AFA08

small talk: surprise that a former collegue of mine found this blog, n there IS people reading this blog. ITS ALIVE!!!
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Last 2 weeks i received a MSN message from my secondary school fren. N the conversation goes like this:

Her: 20/11/08 free?
Me: y?
Me: wah so long no msg me liao
Me: haha
Her: wedding dinner

Her reply is so ambiguous that it seems like an invitation or helping ppl to pass the words, which is the way she talks to us (me, tiong, keng hui n shud have others) =.=
and so...

Me: for who?
Her: you say le?

I would say this is the most unique invitation i ever recieved, but consider her characteristic, that is her style, hahahaha

So, as what we have predict before we finish our secondary school, this couple will be the first that send us the red bomb. Really congratz for them since they have been together for almost 6 years +

And so, i submitted my leave application yesterday. I was initially thought that it will not be so easy as my current project due date is on the 28 Nov. But then my manager happily accept my leave application.

and for today, i saw Kurogane's post on Anime Festival Asia 2008, only i realize that is on the same week as my friend wedding dinner. I long wanted to attend the event thus wanted to apply another day leave. But since i just submitted my leave application yesterday =.= thus i think i will submit another one next week. :) Hopefully i will be able to finish my work so that no need to cancel my leave to complete my work /me go work hard

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Now playing: Lia - Toki Wo Kizame Uta

Just update something

Well, it seems that is a long time since i update my blog. Until now i still consider will really get myself starting to type in more stuffs.

Just a basic update of myself (details might be coming afterward, if i have the time n mood =.=)

1. I successfully grad from Uni
2. I didn't went to any grad trip
3. I start working in KL (yes, not SG, JB or MLK)
   
4. Some people think that i shud have work at a better place
5. I losing hope to the current administration
6. I have no hope in any of the current or potential PM candidate
7. I still not yet giving up my hope on this country
8. I still trying to adapt my work =.=
9. There r a lot special events happened around me, some is entertaining some is disappointing
   

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Now playing: Mizuki Nana - Trickster

Taiwan Election Video

Pak Lah has admit that BN lost this time is due to poor electronic promotion, which is a 100% truth. Look around the other side of the world, the self-proclaim "The most democratic country (not officially recognize as a sovereign country by most countries in this world) in Asia (some say the World)" - Republic of China or by normally called Taiwan, their election advertisement is damn touching that i would really want to vote for them after watching the video. The below video was release 2 days before the election day, so is like of like a final push for their campaign. The KMT party has asked all of its District Chiefs and Party Chairman to stand out and support for their party's candidates, and yeah it was touching to watch it.


Rough Translation:

Taichung County Magistrate - Huang Chung-Shen
- We can change the current difficult situation

Taipei City Mayor - Hau Lung-bin
- The time of change

Chiayi City Mayor - Huang Ming-hui
- This is a critical time

Nantou County Magistrate - Lee Chao-ching
- To change Taiwan's fate

Hsinchu City Mayor - Lin Junq-Tzer
- Do not give up the chance of change

Changhua County Magistrate - Cho Po-Yuan
- Integrity and kindness will come back

- To change Taiwan

Taitung County Magistrate - K'uang Li-chen
- In fact, we only just one step away

Miaoli County Magistrate - Liu Cheng-Hung
- Taiwan's future

Hualien County Magistrate - Hsieh Shen-shan
- Taiwan's hope

- Let Taiwan bound to the right direction
- We need your participation

Yilan Country Magistrate - Lu Kuo-Hua
- Taiwan, restart!

Taipei Country Magistrate - Chou Hsi-wei
- Taipei Country, Ready!

- Jiayi City, Ready!
- Hsinchu, Ready!
- Nantou Country, Move Forward!
- Changhua Country, Reporting In!
- Miaoli, Must move forward!

Hsinchu County Magistrate - Cheng Yung-chin
- When Taiwan shine, Hsinchu people will not miss it

Taichung City Mayor - Jason Hu
- Taichung, Go!

Penghu County Magistrate - Wang Chien-fa
- Penghu County, Reporting in!

Taoyuan County Magistrate - Eric Chu Li-lun
- Taoyuan, needs you

Keelung City Mayor -Chang Tong-Rong
- Keelung, Start!

- Yilan moving forward,
- Taiwan will sure win
- Please do not absent, and do not give up
- Just a single decision,
- You can change the future of our children

- Let us find back Taiwan's hope
- To reach a new peak for Taiwan
- If you cast a sacred vote
- There is only hope for our future generation

(Title): Change Taiwan
(Title): Every City, Every County, Every People
(Title): Already Prepared

(KMT President Candidate and President-elect Ma Ying-jeou)
- For the sake of Taiwan's future
- For the sake of our future generation
- Taiwan must change

(KMT Chairman Wu Po-hsiung)
- Only change have a chance,
- Change the ruling party again
- Only Taiwan will win

(KMT Vice President Candidate and Vice President-elect Vincent Siew)
- to let every have a good life
- that is what we promised

(in Taiwan dialect)- to let every have a good life
(in Taiwan dialect)- that is what we promised

(in Taiwan dialect)- 322, vote for no. 2
- 322. vote for no. 2
- Cast vote to determine Taiwan's future

FUCK... MASSIVE PROMOTION

When i notice the ad under my msn window, i found this

Yeah, I saw "Vote for Malaysia. Click here for the Full Story"... n u know when i click wat come out?

.
..
...
....
.....
......
......

FUCK

And yeah, i have been complaining (especially to my gf) that BN is OVER promotion, like they goin to lose....

n hell no, along with family orders....... i not goin to vote for BN this time

screw u BN

and i like this very much

Happy Chinese New Year

Sorry for the late post, was back in JB n doesn't have the cable to transfer da picts

anyway my present to all ^^

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!!!

p/s: picture taken in my house, tat was made by my father ^^

After exams!!

I went up to KL straight after my last exam on saturday....

Things that i have done during the trip:

Go to BTS and brought an evangelion model with a freaking cheap price

Went to Lowyat help me fren to pick his choice of system (Almost brought that freaking MSI 8800 Zalman fan version =.=)

Brought a easyswitch capsule for my iphone

Watch National Treasure 2 at Sunway Pyramid, damn cool movie

Sunway Pyramid car park is damn cool !!!!

Is freaking hard for me to buy shirts

and many other randoms stuffs happens that makes me happy and also sad =.=

3days no step out

Yes, i have not step out of my house for 3 days already (shud be more then 72 hours by now). Most of the time spend on developing my FYP system. Getting Java and ASP.Net working together is not a very nice option =.=

No, not step out of the house for 3 days (including have to ask housemates to dabau or cook myself) is NOT normal

*soon goin to break my previous record which i had during beta. That time i also doing Java Programming. Dang!

Twist!!!

I wonder anyone still reading my blog... as is have died a long time (although it revive a few times and died again). Anyway there is this video that i would like to share with u all. Is kind of refreshing video that my fren use it to keep awake when we all have to stay awake whole night to finish up our FYP report. Last but no least Merry Xmas everyone!!!




*I am suppose to write in posts abt my eventful December but still waiting ppl to send me da picts. will try to update once i got the picts (with conditions that don't have other stuffs tat need me to do ASAP)

Updates!!!!

As request by many... so here the update!!!

UPDATE!!!!!!!!!!!

*p/s
Is approching last week of my training in FFSCAP, there are still alot of works to do and seems there are limited time left. But currently have no idea which work to work on now. =.=;;;

07-07-07 Happy Birthday Kid

On this special day which will only come in each 1000 years, Wish u happy 21st years old, Kid. I guess all the number are related to 7 ar? hehe

YES and NO

YES i heard alot of people saying about Transformers but NO i haven watched it... as imagine that i had to work from 9-6 on weekends and back to MLK most of the week. But wat the heck.... go cinema watch movie are not the "must" thing for me to do!!!!

Working life is very regular as you have to sleep early, wake up early, eat only 12-2pm, tea break on 4 or 5pm, when back home at 6-7pm, do some chores after dinner... surf net a while then sleep again.... Is good to have regular lifestyle... but is too....... regular

wanted to post my work life but thinking that posting the code that i done might be more interesting XD so those who are not against it please put a YES in my shoutbox and to those who are against it please put a NO in my shoutbox... i will close the poll anytime i like it.

YES i would like to go back melaka every week (since have "endorsement" from parents) but NO due to have not enuf financial backing for going back everyweek. I only can go back MOST of the time T_T i miss my darling so much...........